Rumination

Anxiety—or angst, as the existentialists often called it—is central to much of existential philosophy. Thinkers like Kierkegaard, Sartre, and others saw anxiety not as a pathology to be eliminated, but as a vital signal: a discomfort that forces us to confront our freedom, our choices, and the weight of our existence. In their view, anxiety is a prompt to take action, even if that action feels uncomfortable or uncertain.  I have written about this before (see previous posts).

But "anxiety" today feels different. It’s rarely framed as a philosophical awakening. Instead, it’s front-page news—often described as an epidemic, particularly among younger people. As a parent of a child experiencing it first hand, I see daily the disabling and distressing impact this kind of anxiety can have - and the way it can shrink a person's world.

It comes up in my coaching work too.  And when thinking about anxiety (and the cornucopia of anxiety-provoking situations we face in today's working environment), I’ve found it helpful to tease apart two related but distinct mental processes: reflection and rumination (with thanks here to Peter Attia's "Drive" podcast interview with Josh Spitalnick).

• Reflection is thoughtful engagement. It’s the kind of inner dialogue that helps us process what’s happening, make sense of our emotions, and move forward.

• Rumination, by contrast, is a mental loop. It’s the endless replaying of thoughts, worries, and imagined scenarios. It’s getting stuck—unable to let go, unable to act.

"Rumination" resonates with me deeply. I’m prone to it myself, and I see it often in my coaching clients. It’s unpleasant, persistent, and often invisible to others. It keeps us from doing the things we want to do and making the choices we need to make. It’s a kind of paralysis masquerading as thoughtfulness.

So what do we do?

The existential philosophers didn't have much time for it, and would likely urge us to “snap out of it”—to embrace "the dizziness of freedom" and act. But that’s easier said than done. Rumination isn’t just a bad habit; it’s often a natural response to real uncertainty, fear, or pain.

This is where coaching can help. Coaching offers a safe space to explore what’s going on beneath the surface— to figure out the specific challenges that trigger anxiety and the patterns that keep us stuck. It’s not just about talking, though; it’s about working practically on techniques to spot patterns of ruminative thought, interrupt the loop, and reconnect with agency and choice

In existential coaching, we don’t aim to eliminate anxiety. We aim to befriend it—to understand what it’s trying to tell us, and to move through it toward meaningful action.

If you are finding yourself a bit stuck, and would like to explore coaching, please reach out for a no-obligations chat.