"Doing" and "being"

It can be difficult to define "executive coaching" sometimes - it's such a broad concept, and can cover a huge range of activities and approaches.  Coaches will have different theoretical frameworks that they use; clients will bring very different challenges and topics that they want to talk about; and the practicalities of coaching sessions can vary widely (how long, how many, how frequent?)

There is one particular difference that can be really important: between "doing" coaching and "being" coaching - a distinction articulated by my excellent MA course lead, Danny Van Deurzen-Smith.  "Doing" coaching is where the coach and client work together in a focused way on particular skills or behaviours - for example "presenting with confidence", "handling difficult conversations" or "preparing for promotion".  "Being" coaching is where the coach and client take a step back and think about bigger questions of life and work - for example "Am I good enough?", "How can I bring my best self to work?" and "Am I getting the fulfilment I need from my job?".

I work with clients across both "being" and "doing" - and what I find fascinating is how frequently we find ourselves jumping between them.  On the face of it, you would think that they are quite separate subjects, but it never ceases to amaze me that one minute we might be planning an upcoming interaction with a client's boss, and the next minute talking about challenges in their home life.  Or, by contrast, a discussion about feeling like an impostor can become a really tactical exploration of particular breathing techniques that can help with feeling anxious.  "Being" and "doing" are often very closely intertwined!

I don't think the existentialists would be at all surprised by this.  They were very interested in ideas of being and doing, and how they linked together.  Sartre famously said: "To be is to do".  I understand him to mean that who we are is not determined by some abstract grouping of our thoughts, beliefs and desires - but rather by what we choose to do, the actions we take.*  Trying to tease them apart and keep them separate is probably doomed to failure, and might mean that we are missing really good opportunities for finding fulfilment and success.

Coaching can be a great way for you to explore your life and work from both a "doing" and "being" perspective - and all points in between - in a confidential and supportive environment.  If you would be interested in finding out more, I'd be delighted to have a no obligations chat!

* Martin Heidegger, another canonical existentialist, was also interested in these ideas, and wrote: "[to do] means to bring something to its essence. But essence is not what a thing is as a being. Essence is what something is as Being."  But as for what he meant by this, your guess is as good as mine!

p.s., what do you think of the AI image?  This time I asked Copilot for an abstract picture inspired by Sartre's "To be is to do".  I don't think it's that bad at all - the contrasting elements of structure and activity are pretty clear, and the colour scheme is very arresting.